Twist and shout.


Mother Nature was not kind to the walkers this early morn. So, there I sat, in the kitchen, nursing my first cup of joe and listening to the national news.  Hmmm, so now there’s a new twist in the presidential campaign – Ted Cruz and John Kasich are allies, trying to gang up Donald Trump and steal his delegates … and his thunder.  Of course The Donald will not have any of that.  He promptly reverted back to using his favorite moniker of “Lyin’ Ted Cruz” and even insulting Kasich’s table manners.  It was entirely too much shouting so early in the morning; in fact, I’d have shaken my head, but my headphones might’ve slid off and fallen onto the floor.  I’ll bet Donald Trump had no difficulty standing up for himself in the schoolyard back in the day.

Well, I sure wasn’t going anywhere, despite the last vestiges of fog starting to disappear, because what was left was dreary and drizzly. Ugh.

So, definitely another jolt of java was in order. But, then I remembered I had to “start” a new jar of instant coffee.  That jar, like some other bottles or containers, are a challenge to open sometimes.  For example, every time I try to open a new bottle of Kraft ranch dressing, I have to twist and turn and grimace and yank, just to get the lid unscrewed and off. That dressing has no safety liner and a few times my death grip on the bottle has squeezed too hard and sent a big spurt of fat-free ranch dressing up to the ceiling.  Nice!

So, I eyed that jar of coffee, while thinking of my mom who was plagued with arthritis in her hands in later years; she had considerable difficulty opening jars. I bought her a jar lid popper and a rubbery-type gripper gizmo, but she preferred the tried-and-true method of taking a teaspoon and tapping lightly all around the jar lid, then tapping hard in the middle and presto – it would open.  Well, most of the time anyway.  The rest of the time she would begrudgingly use the “gifts” I bought her or hand that jar of pickles or jam to me.

This particular jar of Nescafé Dark Roast Clasico is no different. It is vacuum-packed and packs a punch – first you struggle with the odd-shaped lid, then once you lift the vacuum seal, a big whoosh of air always comes out.  But, I wanted that second cup of Joe, and, I admit, I was a little impatient.  Foregoing the usual tactics to open the lid, I just grabbed a pair of disposable vinyl gloves and gave a mighty twist.  I got the lid half unscrewed and the pressure inside the bottle sent the lid airborne.  I reached up and tried to catch it, and, in doing so, rammed the top of my hand against the countertop.  Hard.  Very hard.  Yup, I shouted.  I probably scared poor Buddy who was sleeping soundly in the other room, under his blankets, on one foot, head neatly tucked under his wing.  He no doubt thought to himself “well how rude … Linda saw a spider or a centipede and she shouted, as usual, and woke me up!”

Now, I have a huge bruise and my knuckle is all raised up and swollen.

And that, my friends, is the origin of today’s blog post title.

[Image by Kaz from Pixabay]

About Linda Schaub

This is my first blog and I enjoy writing each and every post immensely. I started a walking regimen in 2011 and decided to create a blog as a means of memorializing the people, places and things I see on my daily walks. I have always enjoyed people watching, and so my blog is peppered with folks I meet, or reflections of characters I have known through the years. Often something piques my interest, or evokes a pleasant memory from my memory bank, so this becomes a “slice o’ life” blog post that day. I respect and appreciate nature and my interaction with Mother Nature’s gifts is also a common theme. Sometimes the most-ordinary items become fodder for points to ponder over and touch upon. My career has been in the legal field and I have been a legal secretary for four decades, primarily working in downtown Detroit, and now working from my home. I graduated from Wayne State University with a degree in print journalism in 1978, though I’ve never worked in that field. I like to think this blog is the writer in me finally emerging!! Walking and writing have met and shaken hands and the creative juices are flowing once again in Walkin’, Writin’, Wit & Whimsy – hope you think so too. - Linda Schaub
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4 Responses to Twist and shout.

  1. Marge Aubin says:

    Oh I can relate….oh I can….


    • lindasschaub says:

      My mom, always full of witty sayings, was always commenting to me “the bigger they are, the harder they fall” … the top of my hand is swollen and a lovely mauve color – can you say dumb bunny?


  2. Ann Marie stevens says:

    Miss Linda…………………..ha-ha-ha…………………..I just got it ……”twist and shout”………………..that is funny and real…………………no I couldn’t walk this morning either………………I heard the lightning and thunder like you said it would


    • lindasschaub says:

      Ann Marie – I sure wish that Mother Nature would turn off the tap – enough is enough already, and we’re getting more rain Friday and Sunday as well. I’m glad I gave you a laugh – the top of my hand is now a brownish-black, but not so swollen … dumb move on my part!


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