This is an open letter to the Robin family who became the avian equivalent of DPs, or displaced persons, this morning. Please understand that I really like birds, and believe me when I say I am neither happy, nor proud, that I evicted Buddy’s brethren. I am sorry that my slate “Welcome” sign seemed to invite you to become permanent residents here, and that you mistakenly thought my coach lamp was something special, made for your needs and move-in ready. You built your nest in record time, but sadly, now that home is gone. I suppose you and your kin shall hold me in the same esteem that you did the last time I tore down a nest at the side door. Yup, Dad sat on the cyclone fence and chattered angrily and loudly while I dismantled the nest. And, yes, for two or three years after that, every morning when I watered my flowers, and picked a few weeds, or re-arranged the mulch, you went right out, while I was still there, and pecked pieces of mulch out of the garden and threw it over the rubber edging and onto the lawn. I appreciated that. Thank you. Yes, I know it was under the guise of “looking for worms” that you just grabbed the mulch and picked it out of my garden. Every time I went outside, you stalked me and gave me an evil look. But that nest dismantling was not an isolated incident. How many nests did I need to tear down on the front and side coach lights, eh? A dozen perhaps? And, I had to put bags stuffed with styrofoam peanuts and a pinwheel on the bend of each coach light to deter any more settling in. Finally, we both moved on and I threw the contraptions away and figured you and your kinfolk relocated to another neighborhood. Well, evidently you have a short memory because once again this morning what did I find? A large nest in my front coach lamp. And yes, I am guilty of evicting you on the spot, no eviction notice even tendered – out on your fractious feathered butt! I hope we have now reached an understanding. You will see that I had to put a large puffed-up bag in the coach lamp’s elbow in the front yard to deter a return visit. Lookin’ good in the neighborhood now! I do, however, have to admire your tenacity in building this remarkably made nest in record time. I went out to check the mail at 3:00 p.m. yesterday and there was no mail. The rains and storms began around 4:00 p.m. This morning I went outside to walk at 7:30 a.m. I thought I’d check the mailbox to see if mail arrived after the last check. There were huge spots of dried mud on the lid. In the dried mud spots were large pieces of grass, weeds and tangled up dried vines. The front door had similar mud spots and splats up and down the glass and dripping from the cross-buck portion of the white metal door. Of course I looked upward. I saw a fully-formed nest, about one foot in diameter, resting solidly on the elbow of the coach lamp. Yes, I knew it was a Robin, since I’ve obviously seen your calling card before. Yes, it was duly noted that two of you were watching me as I left on my walk, and again 3 ½ miles later, when I returned and rounded the corner, you were taking more nest fixin’s … perhaps you were adding on another room? I can’t deal with any of this and I am sorry. You were messy and it will not be tolerated. While I am angry with you, and you with me, I still marvel at how you modeled this durable home for your mate to lay eggs and sit up there. The mud that “glued” the nest together had not even dried yet. The nest lifted out with a small rake, was intact, and it was large and fully formed, anticipating the big event. Mercifully, there were no eggs in the nest. If I could have, I would have taken it somewhere else for you. I apologize for leaving the whole nest sitting in the dustpan momentarily in the driveway while I collected my thoughts on what to do next – I did not mean to taunt you. You looked at me with anger and hurt in your eyes. I felt somewhat humiliated and still do; I am not a mean-spirited person and the last thing I would ever do is harm a living creature. That is why I put your handiwork into a white plastic bag and took it to the end of the street to the alley.
Please don’t hate me – I feel badly enough.
Signed, Homeowner.
Linda Schaub
WALKIN', WRITIN', WIT & WHIMSY 
Darn birds….lol I don’t have a problem getting rid of the nest but it there is eggs I can’t touch it…lol
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No, I couldn’t evict if there were eggs either – I would feel heartless about it. I didn’t like handling the nest either. At that time I had my canary and this was at the time of the avian flu and I worried about touching the nest and it having any germs. I used staining gloves to handle removing it because sometimes the nest was just plastered with mud onto the elbow of the coach light and I couldn’t just knock it off with my small garden rake.
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That was hilarious Linda! Very well done! I could sense and sympathize with your frustration. It is amazing how fast they can assemble them isn’t it. You knock it off one day, and the next day there it is again. Do they work overnight? In the dark? It is amazing and annoying at the same time.
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I am glad you liked it Joni – I actually wrote a couple more about them and their antics but I remember this one as I called it “Evicted” … oh they made me so mad! I am really behind here because I went to park and walked maybe 5 miles – I was dressed too warmly and took tons of pictures … I sorted down the pictures for today’s post, and a couple more posts – that took me a long time. I had fun with today’s post and I figured out how to fix my caption editor – I got a new browser. I think the Chrome browser was corrupt and that was the issue.
I am going to send you an e-mail, probably tomorrow … I want to tell you a couple of things and also mention here and there, that I forwarded Kim’s blog name to a girl in the UK that raises chickens. I discovered I have not received a few of her posts in Reader.
I have another follower/someone I follow as well and the same thing happened. In that case, the woman (Anne) plays piano. I sent her the Google Doodle about Bach and she e-mailed me to say she loved it and would do a post about it. I never saw the post – figured she got busy. Went on her site and she had posted it. So Kim said she thought she “misposted” … I told her I’m subscribing via e-mail which I did and I see she posted something. I took all afternoon and evening messing around with pictures, future pictures and the blog … I know that is excessive, but I figured I had a really long day at work so was okay (although I did have things I could have done in the house, believe me). I won’t be as late here tomorrow and probably won’t finish up in Reader tonight (if I make it there).
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I think you should re-post Evicted some time this April, maybe when you see your first birds nest. I think many other people would enjoy it. It’s too funny not to share. It’s weird re your missing posts, are not getting notices within WP, or when you follow outside via email? I meant to mention to you that when I drove to the hairdressers today, which is about a 30 minute drive east, I listened to 98.7 and liked it. But the further I got from the border, the more static and the more it faded in and out. I always found that with 100.3 too, if I drove to London then half way there I would have to turn the dial as I lost reception. At least I recognized the songs, and it was easy listening, none of that rap stuff.
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I will do that Joni- good suggestion. If I don’t get robins (hopefully), I’ll post it as a way to say “I may like those baby robins BUT … at somebody else’s place.” Everywhere I see nests, they are not in the way or making a piggish mess. I am glad you liked 98.7 -sometimes I can have it on an hour and like and know every song, sometimes won’t know any for a whole string, but I do like it … my kind of music.
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Yes, do. Caught up with reader, finally…..for now. Do we ever really get caught up?
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Ha ha – I just said to you I am not going to make it to Reader and am still in Comments. I usually post at Patch.com and not going to do that tonight either. We never catch up.
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