To paraphrase a quote often attributed to Mark Twain, i.e. “golf is a good walk spoiled”, a visit to the dentist took a bite out of a long walk this a.m. and I only mustered 2 ½ miles. I go twice a year to get my teeth cleaned and in April, Dr. Kelly said “hmmmmm, that cavity may need to come out next year and we’ll put in a new crown in its place, but no urgency” … I’m sure I looked crestfallen when he told me because I don’t have dental insurance, but on the other hand, I was happy that I could be like Scarlett O’Hara and defer thinking about it until another time. When I went in last Monday for another teeth cleaning, the dentist said “um, maybe sooner rather than later” … so, here I was a week later in the dentist’s chair for part one of the crown process. Easy and breezy and Dr. Kelly is very gentle. His assistant, Rueben, asked if I wanted just a numbing needle or did I want some nitrous oxide to relax? Nope, I told him I’d tough it out. I’ve been through the prolonged dental visits before, sans drugs, and I’ve had multiple impacted wisdom teeth removed to boot, so I am a trooper. Alot of effort has gone into having straight, pearly-white choppers.

I had braces put on my teeth when I was 20 years old. I endured braces nearly three years, and top and bottom retainers another two years after that. Dr. Kelly and I reminisced this morning about wearing full-metal braces on your teeth back in the day. Orthodontia sure has changed – now there are just specks of metal glued onto teeth, or the invisible braces. I had the wrap-around metal braces during which time I wore two sets of head gear simultaneously which pulled my teeth up and back, and which thankfully I only wore at home and to bed. I looked like I was a radio transmitter … plus, picture this, at the same time, my long hair was wrapped around about a dozen hair rollers the size of huge, orange juice can. Many times I hung my head over the side of the bed to get a good night’s rest. While I wore braces which wrapped around each tooth, and were strung together by heavy wire, each monthly visit to the orthodontist brought a new way to wear the rubber bands which hooked onto the braces. The rubber bands came in various sizes as well and my orthodontist always had me wear the smallest size which created the most tension. As the orthodontist worked on the middle of my mouth, he had two assistants, one on each side of me, each wielding a rubber mallet and banging the metal and wires into place. OMG! Lastly, they wound the metal strip up and tightened it before you left and called out “don’t forget to get some wax before you leave” … on your way out you stopped at the dispensary and grabbed packages of wax as your cheeks invariably got scratched by the wires, especially when they put the wires in new places. You had to develop a tolerance for the new wires poking into you. Because I usually had four sets of rubber bands on my teeth at any given time, I wasn’t prone to opening my mouth very wide. The ultimate embarrassment one day was laughing with great gusto at a customer’s funny story at the diner where I worked. That belly laugh caused a rubber band to snap and pop off – into his soup. Oops!! Good thing we both had a sense of humor. Wonder how many people reading this also had braces and I’ve dredged up a few memories about their brace-face experience that they would rather forget?