WALKIN', WRITIN', WIT & WHIMSY

… has walked 754 miles in 2016!

I know in my heart I COULD have done better, and SHOULD have stacked up more miles than this final tally. In fact, in late November, knowing I would meet and exceed my goal, I secretly planned to reach 800 miles.  But, boom … the first snow event arrived, then freezing rain and more snow the following weekend, thus dashing my ambitious goal.

Plus, there was an endless stream of calamities and mishaps that happened this year, further hampering my morning walking regimen.

Since I work from home, I schedule appointments for the morning to be less intrusive in my work day.

First, it was the furnace.

I endured multiple issues with my furnace in February, so there were several tech visits to troubleshoot the problem. It eventually quit shutting itself down, that is, until after a very warm Fall, it finally got chilly enough to put the furnace on again.  Then it was round two of the same issues.  After a pair of service calls, finally (knock on wood), on Election Day, the techs were able to detect and resolve the problem.

Next it was the car – grrrrrrrr.

On my 60^th birthday, I went out to run the car, only to find it dead as a doornail.  This, despite getting a brand-new battery only six few months before and using a trickle charger as a helper for that battery.  The mechanics revived the car, but I was told to drive it more, or I would be facing more electrical issues.  So, drive it I did … instead of my usual 250 or so miles, I put 655 miles on my car this year!  For me, that is astronomical.  The owner at the gas station where I go to, said he has never seen me filling up every month, instead of just topping it off three or four times a year.  (Yes, he’s a funny guy.)  But, driving around in the buggy also pared precious minutes off my walking regimen as well.

And, then there was Microsoft …

Still other machines behaved badly – computer issues, both at work and at home, were a pain, and, for someone who works out of the home, it is paramount that everything works 100%. I thought I’d lost my mind with Windows 10 and Microsoft’s insistence that I come aboard the Win10 train.  I finally accepted the download, just so I could roll back my computer to Windows 7 and put on “Never 10” to block the intrusion, so they would leave me alone forever.  My computer has never bounced back to its former self and continues to plague me with occasional persnickety problems that I never had before.

And, there was more …

I replaced the battery in the kitchen clock, and out popped the chiming mechanism and the clock is now silent, no longer sounding at the top and bottom of the hour and I miss that ritual and noise.

Unfortunately, 2016 is not done with me yet – this morning I was eating breakfast, and heard the unmistakable sound of water dripping. Sighing, I walked over to the kitchen sink cupboard and threw open the doors.  There were wet spots inside the dishpan that goes under the double-sink pipes.  I wiped it up and shut the door – I’m afraid to look back in.

As I approached my 60^th birthday, I figured “no big deal” … another year, another decade, and a few more gray hairs … I even noticed a couple of white eyebrow hairs.

But, along with marking that milestone back in April, came a series of annoyances … not all petty, like …

The parade of little black ants that merrily marched across my countertop one day when the Spring thaw arrived – where did they come from? I’ve never had little ants in the kitchen before, and suddenly there were scores of them, dashing to and fro on the counter, on the ceiling, even on my arm once!  This went on for about a month’s time, then suddenly they were all gone.

Then, other bugs were behaving badly in their stead … in August some carpet beetles chomped on both my ankles, causing an allergic reaction and two monstrous-sized blisters. Worried, I went to the, dermatologist for a look-see, antibiotic cream, and then spent several days staying off the walking path as I was afraid of contaminating the wound once each blister broke.

Bugs continued to plague me, right up to a few weeks ago, when I found a huge winged creature drowned in my creamed corn, after I already took a bite straight out of the can.

Of course, the biggest thing to rock my world was the loss of my beloved bird Buddy earlier this month. I will not deny that his passing has left a gaping hole in my heart, as well as a huge empty space in the kitchen where his cage sat atop the butcher block, a mere seven feet from where I work.  The loss is still unbearable, and, when I picked up his cremains earlier this week, intense grief was renewed once again.  Four weeks after his death, often, out of force of habit, I still find myself commenting to him and waiting for a peep  … but there is no response.  Buddy had my heart and my heart has a fissure that will not heal.  Perhaps it will be easier as time goes by.

Speaking of time, there are only a few hours left in 2016 … I am hoping for a happier and more stress-free 2017.

I know it was cold and windy this morning, and, while the wind pummeled me as I walked down Emmons Boulevard to the marina, I was able to count the blessings of good health that enabled me to make that trip effortlessly, and, the ability to crow about my meanderings to all of you who follow this blog.

On a whimsical note, for this blog post photo today, I chose a teddy bear named B.W. from my bear collection. My mom and I were shopping at Hudson’s back in 1986, when she spied a display of cute bears and bought him for me.  His abbreviated name of B.W. is short for “Boundary Waters”, which was a line of Dayton-Hudson women’s outdoor apparel that was popular back in the mid-80s.  His camping outfit and lug-soled hiking boots complete the outfit, but his “bear wear” also included a yellow vinyl slicker as well. I remember sitting him in the back of my AMC Pacer to drive home from Southland Mall, and, people were honking, waving or smiling at us since you couldn’t miss him looking out the back window of that Pacer, which car many referred to as a “fishbowl”.

So, now that we’ve celebrated my miles walked and commemorated B.W.’s thirtieth “birthday”, it is time to sign off for the last time this year. While we are gathering statistics, today’s post is the 857^th since I began this blog in February 2013.

Happy New Year everyone!

Mercifully, the year 2016 is sliding into oblivion, just like I would have done some slip-slidin’ of my own, had I headed out on a walk this morning.

I have been running errands over the past two days, and missed some mighty fine walking weather, so I was happy to look outside and see no snow had fallen and I could walk.

But, once I headed outside, lo and behold, there was a thin glaze of ice on the driveway and sidewalk. So much for the walk and wiping out, thus I ran the car in the garage, then took my bundled-up self right back into the house.

With a mere two days left to make resolutions before 2017 arrives, have you decided on how you will right your ship, or keep yourself on track next year?

As to me, I know I can’t eat any healthier … I’ve given up fast food, fried food, sweets and treats, salty snacks and red meat over the course of the last five years. I study labels for sodium and sugar content – so, yeah me.  But, on the other hand, oh how boring my meals have become!

Once again, I’ve embarked on the exercise bike regimen for the Winter months, since walking is kind of iffy due to ice and sometimes snow-slickened sidewalks, but, I do vow to walk if it is clear and cold, having yet to christen those hiking boots I bought in the Fall of 2015. They still are in the original box in the bottom of the closet.

Well, my 2017 resolution is pretty simple … I will be more organized! I want to know where everything in the house is located without scratching my head and giving up where to look.  I was organized at one point in my life, so, why orderliness has moved out and disorganization has moved in its place, I have no clue … but that is my resolution for 2017.

Otherwise, I am perfect … (just kidding!)

Yesterday was an anomaly weather-wise, though I’m sure there were no complaints.

My favorite meteorologist, Paul Gross, said that we shattered the former record of 55 degrees set back in 1888.  Yup 1888 – that was not a typo!  While there were still some patches of ice and snow when I set out on my walk, it was a cinch to navigate – no traipsing into the street, so I could pay more attention to the sights and sounds, instead of watching my feet as they navigated the pavement.  But, despite those warmer temps, the Ecorse Creek was still covered with ice, with one small fissure bisecting the Creek, but no water visible yet.

So, like I said, I had a better opportunity to check out the Christmas décor that I missed during the two-week hiatus from my walking regimen, thanks to the two snowstorms and freezing rain. One such holiday item was a huge inflatable “snowwoman”, who appeared to be made from sand and was propped up near a garage.  I know this towering inflatable “sandwoman” was way taller than me.  She was quite the beach babe – extremely curvy, with three beige-colored sandballs, instead of the usual snowballs, comprising that body.  This sandwoman had her accessories down to a T … there was a floppy hat to protect her head from the sun’s rays and dark sunglasses perched on a cute conch shell nose.  She wore fashionable starfish buttons and had donned a colorful lei.  But, instead of carrying a purse on one twiggy arm, she had a sand bucket.  Very clever!  She looked perfect for yesterday’s weather, but I’ll bet she was shivering, as was I, when I opened the door to leave this morning.

What caused those Spring-like temps we had yesterday to vamoose? And who ordered those pesky little ice pellets that landed on my nose and down jacket today?  Grrrrrrrrr.

Well, after all, we did just begin the Winter season. Now, we’ve dispensed with Christmas and the news station is carrying their year-in-review for many different topics.  The advertisements are now about New Year’s Eve reservations and New Year’s resolutions.  Whoa!  And, on social media, people have tweeted and posted about Valentine’s Day and Easter cards, candy and décor springing up everywhere … did someone say Spring?

The ads have been nonstop for getting your holiday shopping done, online or otherwise, since the last drop of gravy was dabbed from our respective mouths on Thanksgiving Day.

But, the grocery stores dropped the ball.

Why? They should have reminded us to stock up on our favorite food fixin’s, so our holiday dinner would be complete.  During the past week I heard there is a shortage of eggnog and Reddi  Wip canned whipped cream.  No eggnog at the holidays? Or, no crowning your hot chocolate or mince pie with a perfect curlicue of sweet whipped cream on top?

If you hadn’t heard, leading manufacturers of eggnog underestimated its popularity this year. Apparently, sales for eggnog have increased 65% as people quickly abandoned their various pumpkin-spiced beverages after Thanksgiving, opting instead for that sweet and aromatic goodness of this creamy drink.  Not only do people love this lip-smacking beverage, but, apparently it has become a go-to ingredient for baking as well.  So, hopefully, you laid in your personal supply early, or you’ll be making your own.

Growing up, I can remember my mom making me eggnog, but it was not as rich and decadent as today’s creamy or custard-style varieties. I remember watching her crack a couple of eggs into a bowl, add milk, a splash of vanilla, and a dash of spices, then she’d dip that old rotary beater into the bowl and crank away.  Soon, she would slide a glass of that frothy treat across the countertop toward me.  Yum!

I was also surprised to learn that the canned whipped-cream topping was missing from grocers’ refrigerated cases because of the nitrous oxide explosion at a plant in Florida earlier this year. Not only is canned whipped cream difficult to find these days, but dentists are finding their stock of “laughing gas” in short supply as well.  Yikes!

In the end, it doesn’t matter what food or beverages grace your holiday table, because it is all about the family and friends with whom you are lucky enough to be breaking bread with.  Hopefully, it is just one or two items missing from your traditional fare at the 2016 holiday table, and not a treasured family member, or lifelong friend.

Back in the Summer of 1972 I had my tonsils taken out, but the surgeon did not remove the “root” of one tonsil. So, after fifteen years of enduring endless bouts of strep throat and colds, I consulted with a new ENT doc, and was told to get my tonsils out ASAP.  He advised that the older you are, the more difficult the procedure and the longer the recovery time.  So, I used accumulated sick bank time to be off work the tail end of the year.  Just three days before Christmas, I had a quickie mini-tonsillectomy.  While the procedure only lasted a few minutes – one little snip – it left me dealing with a diet of gelatin and ice-cream for nearly a week thereafter.  My mom joked that she received a reprieve from her usual holiday cooking duties, and, to be a good sport, she joined me for a Christmas “dinner” of red and green Jell-O, adorned with whipped cream.  (She did cheat and have some soup and a sandwich for lunch, which I sniffed appreciatively, but couldn’t even take a bite.)

So, remembering that Christmas Day 1987, here is my mom, posing by the near-empty dinner table, save for the get-well arrangement I received from work, plus two heaping dessert bowls that were out of range of the camera.

So, for us, the fare was forsaken, but family was foremost.

I hope dear readers that your Christmas is a memorable one, filled with family, fun, and, yes, good food too, because:

“Christmas is a bridge. We need bridges as the river of time flows past. Today’s Christmas should mean creating happy hours for tomorrow and reliving those of yesterday.” ~ Gladys Taber

Merry Christmas everyone.

It almost felt like old times today, as I was strolling through the ‘hood, with about 90% confidence of walking on dry and “safe” pavement – there were some melted ice patches, but when I came upon them, I walked out in the street, since there was light traffic. I guess most people were already at church or headed to grandma’s house.  My feet found the way to my old stomping grounds – Emmons Boulevard.  The sky was so gray and dismal, that many of the ornate light displays were still lit up … perhaps they were on because of a sensor, or, maybe just the spirit of the holiday.  So, it was nice to view the displays as they were meant to be.  Years ago, I can remember my dad taking my mom and me in the car after dark on Christmas Eve to see the displays in the neighborhoods where there were larger houses, so more property and thus elaborate holiday décor.  As I crossed the footbridge, I peered into the water – no ducks or geese today as the Ecorse Creek is still frozen solid from those two bouts of frigid weather earlier in the month.  Perhaps this little warm-up will melt that ice and get those waterfowl back to their rightful spot.  I was happy to be on the road again and added another four miles to my total … six days until I take a final tally.

Best wishes to you and yours.

… even though he still likes to hang out with the reindeer because he’s an old softie.

I managed to get in a petite walk this morning, and, I decided it’s a good thing I took some photos of holiday décor back in early December, since I never made it back to Emmons Boulevard after my last walk on December 8^th.  At least the weather might get milder, and the ice will melt, so I’ll attempt a jaunt or two in the next few days (hopefully).

I saw this Ho-Ho-Helicopter parked on a homeowner’s front lawn and decided it must be Santa’s Plan “B” for when there is not enough snow to land the sleigh and his nine tiny reindeer.

So, that got me thinking … is Santa’s more-modern ride electric or a hybrid?

Oh deer – do tell!

Actually, the homeowners’ holiday décor gives Santa many options for his sleigh and reindeer – I even saw an airplane. Well, we all need a little more mirth and merriment in our lives, so at what better time than Christmas?

Whatever Santa uses on his long journey tonight, he might want to have a Garmin or Siri handy to get him around the globe in record time, if he won’t be relying on Rudolph’s red nose. Sadly, my long journey can’t even compare to Santa’s, at a mere 735 miles walked to date in 2016.

Safe travels to you and yours and blessings for a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah.

“They err who think Santa Claus enters through the chimney. He enters through the heart.” ~ Charles W. Howard

Ho-hum … indeed!

So, today it is officially Winter.

It seems kind of silly marking this astronomical and calendar event, since we’ve already endured our share of teeth-chattering and bone-chilling cold. Not to mention, after last weekend’s second measurable snowfall, the ambiance of the newly fallen snow has worn out its welcome and merely tried our patience.  In my opinion, snow should be limited to Christmas Eve only – just for effect, and then be whisked away shortly thereafter.

Today is the shortest day of the year, but take heart … the days will get longer as we slowly creep toward Spring.

With 16 inches of pre-Winter snowfall woes under our belt already, I leave you with this thought:  “Winter is not a season, it’s an occupation.” ~ Sinclair Lewis

I am trying not to bemoan this despicable weather … so, I’ll just say that a year ago we were enjoying temps that were 25 degrees above normal. Walking was a joy and happening every day.

Just sayin’.

I’m sure that you, just like me, complained at least one time during this past Summer about the endless days of hot weather, and, you probably said “another hot day – I won’t complain once the cold weather gets here!”

I’ll bet you are regretting those words now.

I thought about taking the sleigh, er car, out for a spin this morning, but “spin” is exactly what I thought would happen after a precarious trip backing out of the garage. There is only about a foot of space on either side of the car, and the driveway was a sheet of ice.  Even the street looked slick and uninviting for me, the already wintry-weather-weary driver.

So much for that idea.

Maybe tomorrow.

Good thing Santa doesn’t depend on plowed and salted roads to make his rounds on Christmas Eve. The reindeer have got his back and keep him on track, so he doesn’t disappoint anyone.

Speaking of Santa, WWJ’s health reporter was reciting a list of items that Santa should be concerned about pertaining to his upcoming journey. As a labor law secretary who has dealt with plenty of MIOSHA matters for clients over the years, frankly, I never thought much about Santa’s gig having so many occupational hazards … he probably hasn’t thought about it either, so perhaps he needs a new labor lawyer to look over his current contract.

These are some of the many hazards and pitfalls of Santa’s profession that I can recall:

First and foremost, Santa had better watch his weight, considering all those stops with delicious cookies washed down with whole milk that he is obliged to consume. The health reporter suggested leaving carrots or almonds for Santa instead.  (Great idea, but this might lead to a piece of coal in your stocking.)  She also suggested that the extra-jiggly belly fat could lead to heart disease, or even Type 2 diabetes.  (Sheesh … and I was worried about my annual personal indulgence: a quart of egg nog that’s been tucked in the corner of the fridge since mid-November.)

Also, the jolly old elf should be advised that a cherry-red nose isn’t necessarily from zipping around the globe in the cold air, because it might signal an allergy to holly, mistletoe, or even the reindeer. (Yes, I feel sorry for Santa – my nose is red during Spring allergies when the trees and grass all make their debut at once – allergy shots will get you to “normal” though.)

Sliding down the chimney isn’t advisable either … all that soot and grime getting in Santa’s lungs sure is not healthy, so he ought to find an alternative and safer way to access each home. (Good point, and thankfully your sleigh doesn’t run on diesel Santa … the chimney’s sooty and grimy scenario sure sounds like downtown Detroit when I was waiting so many years in the “bus hub”.)

And, finally … Santa needs to quit hoisting that heavy bag of presents around, or at least learn proper lifting techniques. (Pay attention to this one Santa – I carried a schlepp bag on my shoulder for years while I took the bus.  My mom warned me “you’ll be sorry when you get older” … but, as you know, you can’t tell young people anything.  Now, I feel twinges from three decades of a heavy bag resting on my right shoulder.)

All those on-the-job woes makes you feel sorry for ol’ Santa.

I think Mr. Claus needs to revisit his contract and invoke a new clause or two, don’t you?

Once again, Ol’ Man Winter showed up early and uninvited, leaving behind his calling card …  just a few more inches of snow to pile onto the existing mess we dealt with earlier in the week.

Then, to rub salt into the wound, along came the snowplow which wreaked havoc at the bottom of the freshly shoveled driveway in less than one minute.

I’m sure the folks that waited until this weekend to get shopping and errands done , or a Christmas tree picked and hauled home, have been muttering under their breath bigtime. Conditions in my city have run the gamut from fog to freezing rain to snow or dark, dismal and drizzly – oh joy.

I’m glad to be sitting here typing this post clad in warm and dry polar fleece and on the inside looking out.

In just a week, the landscape has already become a desolate-looking shadow of its recent self … you know, that splendid Autumn that seemed to languish forever.

Above you’ll see a photo of my neighbor’s backyard. I wonder what animal made those tracks in their journey across the snow?

While this area of the yard may look bleak and barren, closer to the house, every morning there are dozens of birds frequenting the feeders and suet blocks, or partaking in sunflower seeds that are scattered on the deck and driveway. A variety of birds descend at once, and, of course, the squirrels are always waiting for handouts.  If no biscuits or peanuts are forthcoming, the squirrels climb aboard the feeders and make some mischief to get their fill of seeds, while the birds anxiously wait in the wings, or busy themselves with a dip in the hot tub, er … heated birdbath.

I was chatting with my mail carrier, Jenny, as she braved the cold in a snowsuit. Her face was ruddy and she tugged at a wool cap with a mittened hand as it kept sliding up off her head.  We often pass one another in the morning, so Jenny knows I’m an avid walker.  She warned me to be careful as she had a bad slip-and-fall yesterday.  She fell hard onto the sidewalk, even using YakTrax, a wire contraption with coils that you strap onto your shoes or boots.  The wire coils are guaranteed to grip the sidewalk to keep you from sliding on slick surfaces, but Jenny hit a patch of black ice and down she went.  Yikes!

I sure am grateful I met my walking goal on the first of the month, barely a week before that first dusting of snow gummed up the whole works.

Stay safe everyone.

I’ve never been a big fan of angel décor at the holidays, or otherwise. But, I may just have to re-think my affinity for angels now, because I think that someone might have been looking out for me – perhaps even a guardian angel that was perched upon my shoulder.

Whether you conjure up an image of your guardian angel as a petite figure that flits around in a silky dress, satin slippers and gossamer wings, or a Christmas tree topper , or even this sturdy holiday ornament that adorned a pole at a house on Emmons Boulevard, it’s nice to know that someone is looking out for your welfare, isn’t it?

This is not a corny tale per se, but it is a tale about corn … creamed corn to be exact.

I never had siblings and my parents were 30 when I was born, and they were really kind of no-nonsense in their rearing of me. They followed the principle that children should be seen and not heard.  There would never be a temper tantrum – I sure knew better.

So, if a plate of food was set at my place at the table, I had better eat it, or else I got the lecture about “starving children in _________” (just fill in the blank here, because I’m sure you got that lecture too).

Even when I was a tyke, eating dinner at the kitchen table meant sitting up straight, no elbows on the table, and eating up all my veggies, though I got a little leeway on Brussels sprouts, only because my mom detested them. I was told to “eat around the clock” … clockwise, one bite from each section of food on my plate, until it was all gone.  Only then could I have dessert.  Plus, I had to drink up my entire glass of milk – white, no less.  None of that chocolate or strawberry milk crossed the threshold of the Schaub house.

So veggies are still part of my life – in Summer, it is fresh veggies – in the Winter, the canned variety.

I was hankering for some creamed corn, so I went to the downstairs pantry and got a can. No pop-off lid, so I had to drag out the can opener, then I plunged my tablespoon into the can to have a sizeable taste while getting the pot out and placed onto the stove.  While spooning the rest of the can of creamed corn into the pot, I spied something dark … and large.  I parted the corn with the spoon to get a better look – I’m sure my eyes bugged out as my mouth formed a big oval “Oh my God!”  It was a huge fly … not just a common housefly, but an enormous winged creature.  Even though it was bedraggled from the creamed corn, its wings were intact, as were its bulbous eyes.  I shudder now just thinking about that image.  Of course, I’d already ingested a tablespoonful of that creamed corn when I made the discovery.

Slowly I spooned the corn back into the can thinking I’d deal with it later. I lost my appetite for dinner, so I washed the pot and spoon (half a dozen times) and went back later and took some pictures of that huge creature to send to Del Monte.

Of course, you know I Googled “I just ate some canned cream corn and found a dead bug – will I live?”

Not surprisingly, others before asked a similar question, so, yes … I will live because consumers took a bite, then similarly discovered beetles in their Del Monte veggies … one even found a praying mantis inside their canned leaf spinach.  I don’t think Popeye would approve of that.

Linda, the customer service rep at Del Monte Consumer Affairs said “don’t worry, the can is sterile” … I said “the can is not the issue, but the fly that was in the corn that I took a bite of is – that critter was big enough to go to work!” Well, I got a little giggle for that quip, then she quickly hoped to calm me down by adding “well, I assure you the corn was already cooked” so I couldn’t resist asking “in the big vat with the fly in it, or did the fly drown in the corn when it came out of the vat?”

I told Linda I had taken pictures of the fly, the can and the three other cans of “Del Monte No Salt Added Sweet Corn Cream Style”, that I was now not going to eat thank you very much. In fact, I confessed that I’d probably never eat creamed corn again the rest of my life.  She took all my can code specifics and gave me a quality control number to send along with my pictures and synopsis of the event.  My reward for my food adventure was a reimbursement of four vouchers to be used for Del Monte canned fruits or vegetables.

Linda didn’t ask me to provide the drowned beast to them, and I sure didn’t volunteer to mail Mr. (or Ms.) Fly along with the rest of the holiday packages that will tax our U.S. Mail personnel in the next week.

So, the bottom line is, that I’m alive and kicking because I know somebody up there was definitely looking out for me … another big spoonful of corn and I’d have had a little extra meat for dinner that I didn’t plan on, not to mention the germs. Ugh!

Of course you’ve heard the story of the fly doing the backstroke in your soup … but in your can of creamed corn?

So, what is bugging you today?