Bawdy, er … body, conscious.


Well, it’s nearly Summer, and, unless you’re really buff, you don’t want to risk looking out of shape for the world to see every time you walk out the house.  Just sayin’.

I had a doctor’s appointment at 10:15 today and it was just a tad too warm to walk two miles one way to his office, so I opted for an early a.m. walk and drove to the appointment.

When I left the house, it was already a little sticky out.  I figured I’d just head to the railroad tracks and back for a quick four-mile jaunt.  I took the camera with me … just in case.

While walking home, I couldn’t help but notice a big, fat robin standing on a tall statue of the Virgin Mary smack in the middle of a large garden.  It did make me smile, though a robin standing on the Blessed Mother did seem a little sacrilegious.  He stayed there, perched on the top of her veil, for the longest time and I must admit I was sorely tempted to pull out the camera and snap his rather irreverent pose, but I did not.

As I moseyed along the Boulevard, thinking about that robin and the statue, a bicyclist came by just then and did a shrill wolf whistle.  I looked over, knowing full well it wasn’t directed at me, then had to stifle a giggle as the statuary above caught my eye.  I see them every time I go down Emmons Boulevard, and, in the past, I’ve mentioned this pair that a homeowner stationed on opposite ends of the porch.  As you can see, they are life-sized statues and one must take a second glance when you first come upon them.

My garden has some statuary as well, but just the usual – St. Francis, a turtle, a squirrel and some bunnies.  I didn’t put my usual collection of large cement deer out there this year – no, not because I could barely move, let along lug them around on my four-wheeled dolly, but it started to rain and I already had out various garden knickknacks strewn all over the lawn, awaiting placement in their usual spots.

The bicyclist continued on his way to Wyandotte, and I hustled home to get cleaned up and ready to go.

I decided to get a little more dressed up than usual to see the allergist.  Since I’ve worked off site since 2009, I admit that I’ve gotten lazy about getting dressed up anymore.  I love comfy clothes and figure why not wear ‘em – I spent too many years squashed into pantyhose, buttoned up shirts and tight waistbands.  So, I love my sweat suits and have lightweight ones for in the house, and heavier ones for outside, especially for when I walk.  Likewise for shorts or lightweight pants for the house or outside.  But they are all elastic.  So, I went to my closet this morning and pulled out a pair of red capris and a matching striped top.  The set was brand new when I bought them in 2008, in fact, I had to cut off the hangtags.  I slipped on the top – no problem there.  But the pants – oh, the pants.  Well they zipped up okay … but I felt like a stuffed sausage.  I unzipped them and returned them to the closet for something clean and comfy, then thought “nope, perhaps this will shame you … just go suffer in them!”

Now mind you, I’m not heavy for my height which is 5’9”, but, admittedly I sit too much.  So, I lamented long and loudly “oh no – it happened to me, that dreaded secretarial spread” (or maybe it is bloggers backside).  Smile.

Off I went to the doctor for this annual visit.  I go once a month for my shots, but must see the doctor once a year.  So, I was escorted into an office where a nurse took a history, keying in my data on her laptop.  She departed and the doctor arrived.  He smiled, shook my hand and asked how I was doing today.  My reply was: “Well, Dr. Shah – I can’t breathe.”  His wide smile quickly faded and he raised his eyebrows – after all, this is an allergy and asthma clinic.  I saw his concern, laughed right away and said “no, my pants are too tight – I can’t breathe” and he laughed out loud as well.  He remembered me telling him before I loved to walk and he said “but you walk daily – 500 miles a year, right?” … “yup”, I said, “but it isn’t doing any good for my waistline or these pants are sized wrong.”

It sure isn’t my diet – I eat properly and haven’t had sweets, treats, fried food or fast food in over four years, so I’ll just blame it on that downward spiral as I head to 60 years old – or, maybe I need to let it all hang out more often and be more body conscious.

About Linda Schaub

This is my first blog and I enjoy writing each and every post immensely. I started a walking regimen in 2011 and decided to create a blog as a means of memorializing the people, places and things I see on my daily walks. I have always enjoyed people watching, and so my blog is peppered with folks I meet, or reflections of characters I have known through the years. Often something piques my interest, or evokes a pleasant memory from my memory bank, so this becomes a “slice o’ life” blog post that day. I respect and appreciate nature and my interaction with Mother Nature’s gifts is also a common theme. Sometimes the most-ordinary items become fodder for points to ponder over and touch upon. My career has been in the legal field and I have been a legal secretary for four decades, primarily working in downtown Detroit, and now working from my home. I graduated from Wayne State University with a degree in print journalism in 1978, though I’ve never worked in that field. I like to think this blog is the writer in me finally emerging!! Walking and writing have met and shaken hands and the creative juices are flowing once again in Walkin’, Writin’, Wit & Whimsy – hope you think so too. - Linda Schaub
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3 Responses to Bawdy, er … body, conscious.

  1. ann marie stevens says:

    I cant get the picture of the robin on the top of the head of the Virgin Mary statue out of my head………………………….I prefer the bloggers spread.”


    • lindasschaub says:

      Yes Ann Marie – it was funny – twice I took the camera out of its case thinking it was funny … but there was something just so wrong about doing that. 🙂 Bloggers spread – yup, got that and the walking doesn’t seem to help much.


  2. Pingback: Talk the talk and walk the walk. | lindaschaubblog

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