‘Tis the season for things that scare, so BEWARE!


This ghoul does not like surprises.

I kind of like to ease into my day … know what I mean?

I got up this morning, within a respectable amount of time after the alarm went off, ready to take on the day.

The furnace was softly humming, flooding the house with warmth, and, soon I was sipping my instant coffee, savoring that brew, as the liquid coursed through my body, warming my innards.

All those warm and fuzzy feelings soon evaporated though, when suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a huge centipede streaking past my foot. I let out a blood-curdling scream and set the coffee cup on the countertop so quickly that coffee splattered everywhere.  Mustering all my courage, plus, aided by a big shot of adrenalin, I slayed that sucker by stomping on it with my foot.  Still shaking, but just for good measure, I worked my moccasin sole over that near-lifeless body again and again, because the legs were still kicking!  Well that was an “OMG” moment for sure.

I calmed down, and began to sip the coffee again. Soon my oatmeal was ready.  That sweet gruel going down made me a tad more tranquil … it was comfort food, just like having warm butterscotch pudding, or a grilled cheese and tomato soup.

I piddled around doing some tasks in the kitchen, all the while scanning the floor for any friends or relatives of the squished centipede, but there were none, so I knew it was safe to leave the kitchen, and confidently went downstairs to get my coat to leave on my walk.

I don’t know what made me look at the furnace, but the orange button was coding again – three short flashes and a long flash, but the furnace was on and the heat was pouring out! What in the world?  It shut off and I reset it … then said a little prayer.

I thought to myself, it’s the 13th of the month – but not a Friday, but two strikes are already against me and things happen in threes.

I put on my coat, and took the stairs, two a time, and left in a hurry before anything else could happen. It was a dark and dismal morning, and it matched my mood, but I was happy to escape the confines of the house to clear my head.

Once I took to the streets, I had to hustle, because I was running behind because of the furnace. All was well, ‘til just before I got to the footbridge.  There is a stockade fence to my left, and out of nowhere a small dog darted out from a hole in the fence right near the banks of the Creek.  I never noticed that hole before, but out ran this little terror, or, I guess I should say “terrier”.  He wasn’t very big, but this piece of energy was all puffed up with importance, and ran circles around me barking his head off.  At first I was amused over this agitated little squirt … that is, until he circled in closer and I pictured him nipping my ankles.  Having already incurred critter bites on my ankles earlier this Summer, I dashed across Emmons Boulevard to the opposite side of the street, and, into the sprinkler system no less.  Well, grrrrrr.

I looked back and he was looking for me. “Ha!”, I thought.  Then I mused “you’re not so smart after all!”

But the joke was on me since on the return trip, because of the Ecorse Creek and the footbridge, I have to go the same way to get back to Lincoln Park and pass this very spot again. But, I was smart and stayed on the opposite side of the street.

As soon as I neared the footbridge, my nemesis poked his head out of the fence and barked furiously at me once again. Suddenly, that dog raced out into the street at the speed of sound, where a driver had to apply the brakes to avoid hitting him.  I couldn’t look and turned away.  The dog must’ve retreated since the vehicle rolled on.

Soon I heard barking, and if that dog didn’t come after me again.

But someone whistled and called him – he got his bearings and returned to the hole he had crawled out of.

I never saw a “Beware of Dog” sign so I conclude the following: he must have been a guest at that house because the pooches that live on the Boulevard have much better manners than that!

About Linda Schaub

This is my first blog and I enjoy writing each and every post immensely. I started a walking regimen in 2011 and decided to create a blog as a means of memorializing the people, places and things I see on my daily walks. I have always enjoyed people watching, and so my blog is peppered with folks I meet, or reflections of characters I have known through the years. Often something piques my interest, or evokes a pleasant memory from my memory bank, so this becomes a “slice o’ life” blog post that day. I respect and appreciate nature and my interaction with Mother Nature’s gifts is also a common theme. Sometimes the most-ordinary items become fodder for points to ponder over and touch upon. My career has been in the legal field and I have been a legal secretary for four decades, primarily working in downtown Detroit, and now working from my home. I graduated from Wayne State University with a degree in print journalism in 1978, though I’ve never worked in that field. I like to think this blog is the writer in me finally emerging!! Walking and writing have met and shaken hands and the creative juices are flowing once again in Walkin’, Writin’, Wit & Whimsy – hope you think so too. - Linda Schaub
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4 Responses to ‘Tis the season for things that scare, so BEWARE!

  1. Marge Aubin says:

    This was one of your funny and enjoyable blogs. That dog is laying in wait for you if he is a local. Watch the centipede’s relatives come and get the smashed remains of their beloved little peg leg.


    • lindasschaub says:

      Today was uneventful Marge (thankfully). No dog, so I think he was just a visitor (I hope). And mercifully no centipedes to scare me first thing in the morning … peg leg, that was cute!


  2. Ann Marie stevens says:

    Miss Linda…………………I’m still smiling on your words: “I slayed that sucker by stomping on it.”………and that little “Terror Terrier” coming after you


  3. lindasschaub says:

    I am glad I gave you a smile Ann Marie … I am very glad I didn’t seen that fearless little dog this morning, and no centipedes either – just a calm, uneventful, but COLD day.


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