Hi, it’s Parker the Squirrel here.
I’m hijacking my nutty friend Linda’s blog today to tell you what she did. She won’t mind – she loves me. Trust me on that.
So, the other day I saw Linda coming around the corner, getting ready to cross River Drive to enter Council Point Park. Linda had a white plastic grocery store bag hanging off her fanny pack. “Yippee” I thought – lots of peanuts and probably Nutter Butters too. So, I hurried over to greet Linda before the other squirrels reached her first. I must ‘fess up, that I thought I should slow down a wee bit because of my sore foot. It’s way better now, but I hurt my left hind foot a few weeks ago. I was up in a mulberry tree chowing down on those sweet berries and I turned around to reach some more and saw a groundhog! Yikes! I made a misstep and landed on a lower branch and twisted my foot at an awkward angle. It hurt! A lot! So, I spent a few days up in the nest with the wife and kids and when I was back on ground level again, Linda saw me and asked where I’d been. She noticed I was limping a little in the parking lot. Of course she said “poor baby” and cooed and clucked her tongue and told me about how she smashed her finger in the garage door, so she was sharing my pain. I was lovin’ it – all the attention and extra peanuts, so I’m gonna play the “sore foot card” a little longer.
Anyway, Linda spied me and called out “Parker – you’re still limping a little, poor kid. I’ll meet you halfway, stay there!” See, I told you – Linda’s nice like that. I’ll just hold that foot in the air a little longer – after all, Fall is coming and I must stash away peanuts for Winter.
So anyway, I waited, just like Linda told me to, and when she got closer, I slowly walked over, swishing my tail a little, then sat on my haunches, ready to receive peanuts. Linda was talking away to me and said “Parker, I left in such a hurry this morning, I didn’t have time to pour the peanuts into a Ziploc bag, so I’m bringing the original peanut bag instead and I stuffed that bag in here, in case I want to take pictures of you.”
So, I just sat there patiently waiting, thinking “c’mon already!” Sometimes I wish Linda wouldn’t talk so darn much – I mean, I like the attention and all, but my tummy was growling and there she was talking away. Talk after you feed me! So, she opened the Meijer plastic bag and cried out “OMG!” Hmm – was something wrong? Maybe she saw a spider? Then Linda gave me the bad news. She said “Parker honey, Linda grabbed the wrong bag – I bought myself a couple more pair of garden gloves the other day when I went shopping and hung them in a bag to take downstairs. The bag with peanuts is still hanging on the cellarway railing. What a dummy I am, and there you are, waiting patiently and looking so darn cute.”
Well, what could I say? Flattery will get you everywhere, but I gotta admit, that was dumb. On the other hand, falling out of a tree when you’re a squirrel is not so smart either. I know she felt badly, and truly, if I could have patted her on the shoulder with my paw and said “there, there … I understand” I would have, but I’m only about one foot tall and Linda is about five feet taller than me. She said “I have to leave before anyone sees me and asks why I’m here, but not walking.” She decided to save face (with them, not me) and she left.
So, I went back to eating pinecones … they’re kinda growing on me. I eat them when Linda goes to the big parks and doesn’t show up here. I don’t know if she’s friends with the squirrels there. I don’t ask her because jealousy is not my style.
I’ll forgive Linda this time because she loads me up with extra treats, like peanuts and lots of Nutter Butters, and the time she gave me the whole bag of peanut M&Ms just for me. When she brings apples for all of us squirrels, she always gives me the biggest and shiniest one and sometimes she’ll slip me an extra baby pumpkin too. That Linda – she’s okay in my book. ~~~ Parker
P.S. – Linda has been here every day since her peanut faux pas – guess she really feels badly, huh?