In a perfect world, the photo shoot for my Easter blog post would find me, Your Roving Reporter, tripping down the perimeter path, clutching onto a brightly colored, beribboned wicker basket and doling out treats to my furry and feathered friends along the way. It would be a picture-perfect morning, the sun high in the sky and a gentle breeze. The birds, all atwitter in the budding trees, would be awaiting seeds and peanuts, while an abundance of squirrels would be scampering over to gather near my feet, or under the Safe Haven Tree, to discover what Easter delights I had for them. Aah – it would be a scene reminiscent of Snow White and I’d return home with a treasure trove of shots to spin into a fun Easter post.
Alas, it is NOT a perfect world and Mother Nature repeatedly messed with me by intruding into my planned idyllic setting and weekend photo-taking project, so instead, I was forced to execute a Plan B i.e. a quick-n-dirty plop of naked-looking nuts onto a muddy surface beneath a still-bare Weeping Mulberry tree. Instead of any fanfare, I’d just take a few photos at the house and be done with it.
It was on one such gray and gloomy morn when I stood in the kitchen, having dumped a two-pound bag of walnuts into a rather blah-looking wicker basket. I took a photo, but instantly knew the brown walnuts, sitting in a brown basket wasn’t very photogenic.
I should have planned better I guess if I would be foregoing the annual whimsical Easter Day blog post. Truthfully, the squirrels wouldn’t give a whit about presentation – they’d bury or gobble up those walnuts and perhaps, if I was lucky, I’d come away with a half-dozen shots of them investigating the booty in the basket, or holding a walnut between their front paws. I mused that Parker likely would moan and groan about not seeing any peanuts and begin nosing around my feet, begging for a treat that better suited his fancy. I conceded that in the past when I decorated the Nutter Butter cookies to look like Easter eggs, they were a hit and I got some cute shots, even if I nearly lost the tip of my finger, after stabbing it with the scissors while wrangling the icing tube lid.
Perhaps a little decoration would add some pizzazz to the at-home shot, so I ran downstairs to my holiday supplies cabinet and returned a moment later. Well, that was a wee bit better. I took another photo.
Close encounters of the Easter Bunny kind.
As I stood there, lost in thought, suddenly I felt a presence behind me, hot breath stirring a tendril of hair that had escaped my messy bun. I whirled around and there he was, towering way above me, the tips of his furry ears grazing the kitchen ceiling. I was gobsmacked to have a face-to-face encounter with the Easter Bunny! “Quick Linda – take his picture!” I told myself.
In this moment of madness, I forgot my manners. After all, what does one say or do when confronted by the Easter Bunny? What I mean is, um … is there a protocol for such a meeting? Do I shake his hand, er … paw? How do I address him?
Confounded by the encounter, I admit all I did was stare at this imposing figure, clad only in a bright-yellow vest adorned with Easter eggs, his face seemingly a permanent expression of merriment. I heard a low chuckle, so whew – Mr. Bunny was merely amused and not insulted by my open mouth and dazed expression in that momentary lapse of good manners. I quickly righted that faux pas, regained my composure and hurriedly extended my hand and stammered “whoa – you startled me, but good morning Mr. Bunny – pleased to meet you.”
He responded in kind, offered his paw and uttered “great to see you again Linda” then added “please … I don’t go for all that formality calling me Mr. Bunny. I just go by “E” these days and that would be “E” for “Eggstra Special” – know what I mean jellybean?”
I nodded my head and decided I was not going to burst this bunny’s bubble and tell him the moniker “E” was usually associated with Elvis. This was not the time, nor place, to be splitting hairs, er … hares over it.
“Okay, well E it is then.”
“You’re probably wondering why I’m here Linda?”
“Why yes, the thought crossed my mind E, so do tell.”
E gestured toward the basket, waving a paw in a dismissive manner and said “Linda, I think you laid an egg with this Easter basket. It’s quite lame looking.”
I said I agreed with him, but as Easter was on the horizon, there was no time to prepare more goodies, so I promised that “next year I will do better!”
E told me he was going to work some magic and suggested I take some pictures as the squirrels’ Easter goodies morphed into something special. This sounded fun so I said “ready when you are E!”
“Watch closely Linda.” I watched the blah basket of walnuts morph into a festive basket of walnuts.
This looks much better doesn’t it?” he asked.
Impressed, I said “wait, what! How’d you do that E?”
“Magic Linda – I have magical powers. I’m here with you in the kitchen, right? You didn’t let me in the house did you? I can be all over the world at one time, delivering Easter goodies to all the children, like Santa. Only for my gig, it’s not like I have a slew of elves helping me. I do it all myself. Just me – E. So, I can do even more with these walnuts if you’d like me to Linda.”
“Um – yes, of course Mr. Bunny, I mean E” I babbled.
“Well, I’m going to wave my hand and use a little magic dust and turn these wrinkled walnuts into pretty Easter eggs and add a festive flair to this basket while I’m at it. I know you are dubious – you may even think this is some hare-brained idea, but ….” A few flourishes of a paw and he stepped back to admire his handiwork, then asked “now what do you think Linda?”
I gushed and told him “great – I love it E! The squirrels will be soooooo delighted, except for Parker as he’ll bug me for some peanuts, regardless of how nice these walnut eggs are.”
“Oh, YOU are not going to be giving this basket of goodies to your little furry friends Linda – that’s MY job and I won’t have it any other way.”
“Oh – okay, got it E.” I’m sure my crestfallen face was evident, so in a timid voice I hinted “boy I wish I could see their faces E.”
“I’ll send you some pictures if you’d like Linda – no worries. I have my own website, including a bunch of photos I scammed from your blog about the City’s Easter Egg Hunt a few years ago and I have an e-mail address, so look for a message from me okay?”
Hmm – interesting. I let that comment about those scammed photos slide, then inquired politely “so, will you be hopping down the bunny trail to give out these magical eggs to my furry friends E?” I could feel a blog post narrative was already bubbling around in my brain.
“Oh no Linda – that’s the OTHER bunny who does the hopping down the trail – Peter Cottontail. Believe me, he’s no Hunny Bunny!” I detected E’s agitation and quickly sought to change the subject, to no avail because before he continued, he shook a paw at me and said“clearly Linda, you have your rabbits reversed. That is Peter Cottontail’s gig and if he catches me, bopping or hopping down the trail, he’ll sue me for infringing on his trademark event. He shows up everywhere I show up, lurking about, checking me out. One Easter, I was feeling pretty spry, forgot myself and started hopping down a path and he caught me. As you can see, he sued the pants off of me. Yep, Ol’ Peter is a lurker. I will give these pretty eggs to your squirrelly friends and take pictures of them from behind a tree. I always have my smartphone on me, tucked into my vest.”
Wow, what a lot of info to mull over. I told E “I will go to another park this morning so I don’t interfere, okay?”
“Good idea and Linda, I’ve left you an Easter treat as well, but I know you’ll wait until after Lent to enjoy it.”
“What treat – where E?” I asked.
He told me to turn around, which I did and found this.
“How did you know I eat dark chocolate E?” I inquired.
He bent down close and one ear flopped sideways giving him an even more comical look and, in a low voice, he said “I know more than you think, so fess up Linda – do you nibble on the ears or the butt of your chocolate rabbit first?”
“The ears first E always!” I replied with a giggle.
“Ouch!!! Linda, you have my heart!” Then poof … he vanished into thin air.
I shook my head as if to clear my brain of cobwebs as I wondered aloud “did I imagine this conversation?” Nope, the basket of walnuts was gone with a chocolate bunny in its stead. I put on my coat and hat and headed out shortly thereafter to clear my head – they were good thoughts, but confusing thoughts nonetheless.
When I was online later, I ventured over to E’s website. It was interesting. (And yes those were my photos from my April 9, 2017 post.)
And then I checked my e-mail – sure enough, as promised, there was a zip file from E.
There were photos of my furry friends posing with their Easter eggs.
E even included a picture of Peter Cottontail lurking in the corner. Whatta guy!!!
Hope this post brought some cheer for your Easter Sunday. For a little more merriment, please click here.