Last sunrise.

08-14-17

Today my heart is heavy and my cheeks are damp from tears rolling down from my eyes, because I lost a friend and good neighbor that I have had the pleasure of knowing for twenty-five years.

If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you have seen the name “Marge Aubin” peppered throughout my blog posts during the past 4 ½ years.  Marge fought a tough battle with COPD; that long struggle has ended and she passed away peacefully early this morning.

Marge and my mom and I shared many special moments through the years – there were good times and bad.  We supported one another’s families through losses, and there have been many.   After I lost my mom in 2010, Marge told me I should consider her family as my family, and they have all treated me as such.

It was Marge who was at the hospital E.R. with me when I was told my mom would likely not survive the night … she gripped my hand very tightly and spoke to me in her cool, calm manner.  She was with me as we went to make the final arrangements for my mom as well.

There were other loved ones I lost and Marge was there to console me, like after my beloved bird Sugar suddenly died the same year as my mom passed away.  My heart was broken.  Likewise when she took me to the vet to have Buddy euthanized, because I did not trust myself to drive there.  All those were sad times for me, but there are a wealth of happy memories as well.  Marge and I shared a love of nature and there were treks to Elizabeth Park and frequent trips to Bishop Park to watch the freighters go by and just talk.

Marge enjoyed going to the riverfront, and especially loved to watch the sun rise as she sipped coffee down at Bishop Park in Wyandotte.  For many years, she headed out the door and down to the riverfront in the still of night.  There she would sit, coffee cup in one hand, digital camera in the other, and she would capture images like this one above.

If not for Marge, I would never have started this blog.  One day she forwarded a blog post written by a woman who described the beautiful fields of heather in Scotland.  Then she asked me “why don’t you write a blog like this – talk about nature and what you see when you’re walking?”

And so this blog began on February 11, 2013.

I have twenty-two people who subscribe to this WordPress blog, and from this group, two people have regularly commented on my daily posts – Marge, and my fellow walking pal, Ann Marie Stevens.

Now I have lost that constant commentary from Marge on the finished blog posts, plus, I often solicited her opinion when I gave her a sneak preview of that day’s blog post photos which I’d upload to Shutterfly and send along to ask which was her favorite of the bunch.

Like me, Marge had a profound appreciation of nature, and loved the squirrels and birds in her backyard, and, she especially delighted in those hummingbirds that frequented the many hummer feeders around the outside of her home.  Sadly, in the past few years, Marge was relegated to the inside looking out, so she was content to enjoy those hummingbirds at her front window where she could view them from her easy chair, or, on her back deck where she watched them from the kitchen while having breakfast.  How often my heart ached for her, as she had been a very outgoing person until just a few years ago when COPD ravaged her lungs and left her on an oxygen machine 100% of the time.  But, still she ventured out, when she was able, to take short trips to Bishop Park or Elizabeth Park.  She vicariously enjoyed my recent posts to those venues, and told me she wished she had been there with me.

I found out about her passing from her son Jeff shortly before I left on my walk this morning.  He was outside getting some fresh air, making and taking phone calls and gave me the sad news, and I told him I’d connect with him after I returned from my walk, and I did.  I know on that walk that I absorbed nothing, but merely moved forward, taking steps like an automaton … one foot ahead of the other.  I got those three loops walked and then headed back home, five miles done, but there was no joy in my journey.  Were the birds even singing, the squirrels chattering or clambering down a tree to greet me?  All I remember is seeing the asphalt perimeter path through eyes clouded by tears.

My initial numbness over learning of Marge’s passing has now been replaced with grief, as I realize that my sounding board, a woman with whom I shared confidences and dreams, not to mention gripes, is no longer there for me.  I sound a little selfish in saying that I suppose.  There will be no more passing cute animal stories or beautiful bird pictures along to her to make her smile and ooh and ahh over.

Sadly, Marge did not live long enough to see today’s sunrise from her hospital window, nor her beloved Bishop Park, as she passed away at 5:05 a.m. in Wyandotte Hospital, just a stone’s throw away from her favorite go-to spot.  So, I will post this one last sunrise photo for her and hopefully she is looking down on me and saying “thanks for doing that for me Linda” … rest in peace my good friend Marjorie Jean Aubin.

“So dawn goes down to day.  Nothing gold can stay.”  ~ Robert Frost

About lindasschaub

This is my first blog and I enjoy writing each and every post immensely. I started a walking regimen in 2011 and decided to create a blog as a means of memorializing the people, places and things I see on my daily walks. I have always enjoyed people watching, and so my blog is peppered with folks I meet, or reflections of characters I have known through the years. Often something piques my interest, or evokes a pleasant memory from my memory bank, and this becomes a “slice o’ life” blog post that day. I respect and appreciate nature and my interaction with Mother Nature’s gifts is also a common theme. Sometimes the most-ordinary items become fodder for points to ponder over and touch upon. My career has been in the legal field and I have been a legal secretary for over three decades, primarily working in downtown Detroit, and now working from my home. I graduated from Wayne State University with a degree in print journalism in 1978, although I’ve never worked in that field. I like to think this blog is the writer in me finally emerging!! Walking and writing have met and shaken hands and the creative juices are flowing once again in Walkin’, Writin’, Wit & Whimsy – hope you think so too.
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21 Responses to Last sunrise.

  1. karen flanigan thomas says:

    just beautiful! i love my auntie Margie!! my heart is broken

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    • lindasschaub says:

      Dear Karen – I am glad that you enjoyed my tribute to your aunt. Marge was very near and dear to me and my heart also is broken. There are many times during the day that I know I will want to say “I have to tell Marge this” or “I wonder if Marge saw this?” and I will very much miss her friendship and input to my blog posts and photos … we interacted constantly and her passing leaves a big void in my life. Thank you for responding … I hope you and your sister and mom are comforted by the warm words that everyone is writing about Marge. I have met your mom several times when she visited here with your dad and also after his passing. My condolences to your family.

      Like

  2. Glennaray Kaier says:

    This was a beautiful tribute to my very best friend. I too will miss her dearly. But I will always remember every memory that we have shared throughout the years.

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    • lindasschaub says:

      Dear Glennaray – I was happy to have met you, once at Marge’s house, and then recently out on the sidewalk briefly after you returned from Oregon. I know Marge spoke so highly of you and missed your outings together after you moved out of state. She told me that she was glad she could keep in touch with you through Facebook, but it was not the same. Marge was very dear to me and I, too, will cherish the memories from the time we spent together, whether it was a little outing, on the phone or on social media.

      Like

  3. Ann Marie stevens says:

    Miss linda………………………Oh I’m so very sorry about Marge passing away……your very good friend…………………….yes please talk to her because she can hear you and yes she’s seen your picture of the sunrise on your blog…………………………shes with you in spirit………………….she loves you like a mother…………………………………………….

    Like

  4. lindasschaub says:

    Ann Marie – I can honestly say that I was as grief stricken as if I had lost my own mother and the pain just seemed to intensify throughout Monday. It dredged up a lot of sad feelings about my mom’s death, which, although my mom had been in poor health, she did die suddenly and unexpectedly, just like happened to Marge. Marge was a pillar of strength and my mom and I knew her for twenty-five years and she was there for us both in good times and bad. I believe she is looking down on me as well … she often said my mom was looking down on me and nodding approval over something I’d done … I’d like to think that my mom and Marge are already visiting one another and catching up with news from the last seven years.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Francesco Aiello says:

    This was very beautiful, thank you for writing this.

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    • lindasschaub says:

      You’re welcome Frank – you know how special your grandmother was to me and I think and hope I was able to convey it in this blog post. Take care and I am sorry for your loss.

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  6. Uncle Tree says:

    That was a sweet tribute, Linda. God bless Marge!
    I can see how much you all miss her.
    Peace, luvz and hugz from Uncle Tree to all who were close to her.
    Keep on believing … /\ … in an all-inclusive Heaven.
    “All for one and one for All.”

    Like

    • lindasschaub says:

      Thank you Uncle Tree for your kind comments and blessings for my good friend. Marge was truly one in a million and so full of life and spirit, until COPD sucked all the energy from her the last few years. Just like with my mom, I felt a little helpless watching the sad decline. Since my mom died, I have no family, so Marge kind of adopted me into hers. She would have liked the imagery and words from your blog, especially the sun and nature pictures. I have more sunrise pictures she had sent me, so I’ll probably use one of them on the one-year anniversary of her passing.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Ellie P. says:

    Oh no! I’m so sorry for your loss of such a lovely person as Marge! What a beautiful piece you wrote as a tribute to her. It’s a horrible disease, COPD. My next-door neighbour has it and I see her sinking fast. Her husband is so devoted… Sigh… We have to cherish every moment – life is so fragile!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • lindasschaub says:

      She was a wonderful person as you could tell. Thank you … it was very heartfelt. COPD is a brutal disease and Marge went downhill fast the last two years. She used to go to the river and had her portable oxygen tank with her, and one day she went down there and the machine quit working. She tried to replace the batteries but the batteries were no good. She had to call her son Jeff to get new batteries and rush down to the river, about five miles away. I don’t think she ever returned to the river after that day; the feeling of helplessness left her very scared.

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  8. without pain we would not strive so hard to overcome. our height is measured directly by our depth.Marge is not truly gone until the last person who knew her passes themselves.

    Liked by 2 people

    • lindasschaub says:

      That’s a beautiful way to look at it Wayne. She welcomed my mom and me into the folds of her family as we had no family anymore. I was just devastated by her sudden death – you may know someone is ill and may not last much longer, but she was supposed to come home from her one-week stay in the hospital the day before. I think it brought a lot of memories of my mom, who had many medical problems, but died suddenly (sepsis from a perforated bowel)., I thank God for my good health every day of my life.

      Liked by 1 person

      • yes,health is the most important….both physically & emotionally!

        Liked by 1 person

      • lindasschaub says:

        It sure is Wayne – and for years people only spoke of wanting to have good physical health, but with more and more suicides, not just celebrities, you know how important it is to be emotionally healthy as well.

        We just had a 32-year-old woman here in the Detroit area commit suicide last week. She had three kids, and lived with her boyfriend and his grown son from a prior relationship. He had a gun, she took it and drove away … their home had a video camera for surveillance, and it showed her walking out the door, waving goodbye to the kids, and then shot herself with the boyfriend’s gun a few hours later. But she hid the car – the boyfriend was frantic until she was discovered some 36 hours later. As is the case with most suicides, their closest friends/families say they had no idea. I heard a statistic this morning on the news that more first responders die from their own hand than than on the job. That’s a scary thought. Have they found the bodies of the missing boaters yet?

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      • I always think that If the person felt more loved they wouldn’t go down that dark road.

        Liked by 2 people

      • lindasschaub says:

        I agree with you – those feelings don’t just arrive overnight.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Remembrances … | WALKIN', WRITIN', WIT & WHIMSY

  10. susieshy45 says:

    Linda,
    I read this post today. Each year, when you link your post to this post on August 14, Marge’s memory lives on. If I get to heaven someday, I hope to meet her there and tell her that Linda loves her a lot.
    And another thing Linda, please do not think you have no family. I would be honored if you would be part of my family at least through the blog.
    Susie

    Liked by 1 person

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