It is good to have a sense of humor as we go through life, though I admit as I get older, (or perhaps it is just the state of the world these days), I do find at least one instance daily that makes it difficult to remain unflappable.
This September 13th discovery would haunt me.
After a hot, humid, often rainy Summer, I was ready to welcome Fall, my favorite season, with open arms. But there was one cloud on the horizon as to those highly anticipated long walks, cool days and fabulous colors – Fall was tainted by my September 13th discovery of a huge hole and burrow at the back of the house against the foundation.
I was in the backyard, which still looks like a disaster area, first ravaged by last December’s fire, plus the aftermath of the removal of two medium-sized trees and a slew of burned bushes in late July. The tree cutters stacked up assorted trellises and flower pots onto the back patio having been pulled from that corner of the yard/garden. Since it was too late to plan or plant a garden, disinterested and disgusted, I left it all sitting there, while I instead would dwell on backyard possibilities for 2024.
And then I saw it … a humongous hole in the ground at the foundation. Red lava rock was scattered and dirt and white marble from years ago was pushed aside, obviously by a pair of paws digging fast and furiously …
… to get to their destination, wherever that might be? I bent down close, but not too close, lest some furry critter scurry out and I’d likely keel over with a heart attack. Momentarily I mused that on weekends I travel many miles to walk in the woods at larger parks and get back to nature, see furry or feathered critters, hone my photography skills and bulk up my miles. Well, who knew I needed only to walk mere steps where some big, bold critter decided to take up residence at MY residence?
I looked over at my neighbor’s house, but, since Jeff wasn’t outside I called and reported my “find” and asked if he had seen a large critter ambling about in my backyard; after all, the night of the fire as we stood outside until 2:00 a.m. waiting for the “all clear” to go inside, he pulled out his phone to show me a photo of Mama Raccoon and her offspring rooting around in his garbage can.
Well, Jeff’s answer left me gob smacked: “oh ya, I haven’t seen you, but meant to tell you that I had two burrows at the back of my house, plus a burrow under my A/C unit slab, so I went into your yard to see if you had any burrows and saw yours – I’m sure it’s a groundhog, maybe a skunk.” I know I audibly gasped at this news. Jeff aimed to deter the critter from digging additional burrows, so he bought and buried copious amounts of mothballs in each hole and sprinkled more on top – yep, I had detected a funky smell of late, but didn’t look over at his house or I’d have seen those mothballs.
Jeff offered sympathy and some of his mothballs, but I decided to do more than put a Band-Aid on the problem .
So, I e-mailed my now-retired handyman to whine a bit about my plight and ask for advice. Jim offered to loan me a trap and have his son-in-law Brett bait it for me, but after sleeping on that idea, I decided to hire a pest control service – with colder nights, I didn’t want this beast settling in for the Winter. I wanted it gone NOW!
I was ground off with this groundhog, but there was more to come.
Chad, the pest control guy, arrived bright and early Monday, September 18th and explained how this capture would work. I had already been advised of the fee schedule, i.e. $185.00 for the consult, setting and baiting the trap and $75.00 for each critter trapped, then released humanely within 24 hours into a wooded area five miles from the house. After listening to Chad’s spiel I quipped “well I sure hope there is not a family of groundhogs in the burrow at $75.00 a pop!” Chad just smiled. Later, as I reflected on our initial meeting, I am sure Chad said to himself “wait ‘til she finds out that groundhogs may not be the only critters captured in the trap.”
As to luring the critter into the trap, Chad sprinkled out a special treat suited for groundhogs and chuckled, as he showed me the bait, which looked like pumpkin seeds. He said the pest control guys jokingly refer to the bait as “groundhog cocaine” as it lures them into the trap quickly. You can see the “treat” here in this picture and also if you look closely in the picture of the entire trap.
Here’s a close-up of the trap.
Chad also explained that once the groundhog was captured, I needed to fill the hole right away, layering dirt on the bottom, then lots of pea gravel because “groundhogs don’t like the feel of pea gravel on their paws.” (Hmm – how did you know that – have you asked them or witnessed them shaking their head and muttering to themselves: “nope, pea gravel, not going there” and ambling off?) Nonetheless, I took Chad’s word as gospel. He gave me his card and said “call me on my cell anytime, even on weekends and I’ll come pick up the critter.” I nodded meekly.
At 7:00 a.m. the following day, I decided I was not lugging 48-pound bags of pea gravel around from the nursery/car/backyard, so I ordered two bags of pea gravel, a 40-pound bag of potting soil and lava rock to fill the hole once the critter was caught. I had high expectations, so I just wanted the landscape materials here. With the delivery charge, it was $60.00 – sigh. They would deliver the order sometime that day and in special instructions, I put “pile it on the back porch.”
That chore done, grumbling I got my peanuts and sunflower seeds ready for the “acceptable critters” and headed out the door to the Park. I remembered to check out back and poked my head around the corner.
There was a live one in the trap!!
Good going! But one minor detail – it wasn’t a groundhog, just an opossum that looked at me down that long snout, snarled and bared its teeth. By the way, did you know that opossums have 50 teeth? I believe I saw all of them, including four fangs. As I stood there ruminating over the critter capture, I did the math with the concept of $75.00 for each critter removal/relocation sinking in. Yep, I swore softly, just as the Lowe’s delivery person saw the gate was open and startled me when he said “Ma’am – where did you want your landscape materials?” I pointed where to place the bags, then pointed at the opossum, which I dubbed “Oscar” (after calling it a few choice names which I won’t mention in this forum.)
I returned from walking and decided to photograph the opossum as a post was already bubbling around in my brain. He/she wasn’t keen on posing, but I got this profile shot, this time minus the toothy snarl.
I left Chad a voicemail. He arrived later that day, having alerted me to his ETA, so I met him in the yard, holding the check and I watched as he spoke to the critter. Was Chad an opossum whisperer? After all, the critter didn’t snarl at him like it did me. He told me it was just a baby. “And it’s that big? Surely it’s not still dependent on its mother for food, right?” After my rapid-fire questions, Chad said “nope, it’s fine to be on its own – no worries, opossums grow up quickly – it’ll be fine.”
So off my little friend went to the big red truck bearing the logo “All Seasons Pest Control” to the forest five miles away. However, Chad was out of traps so had to return the following day. I figured the groundhog would feast on the groundhog cocaine, then slip into its burrow, blissfully sated at my expense.
Chad returned the next day with a new trap and some cantaloupe chunks which he placed in the burrow …
… and in the trap.
As you can see, Chad placed the trap close to the burrow and used two, tipped-over, broken flower pots as a barricade. There was no way this groundhog was hopping out of the burrow without ending up in the trap or tripping over the pots.
Even the groundhog’s cousin “did me wrong” …
It was a bad week … I came home from walking and errands the following day and the garage door wouldn’t close due to an errant cable, so I had to have a service call and emergency repair. My former good intentions for doing errands, decluttering and much-needed yard work that weekend went up in flames as Sunday I rewarded myself with a trip to Lake Erie Metropark where I met up with a groundhog.
That beast greeted me with a sneer, then saw the camera and closed its eyes …
… before turning its back on me.
Nothing like being disrespected by a groundhog!
Elvis has left the building.
Two weeks went by with no visitors – the cantaloupe shriveled up and the groundhog cocaine went untouched in the trap and in the burrow. I faithfully checked the trap three times a day and my neighbor Jeff checked at least once a day. One day he noticed the trap was tripped, but the critter was small enough to back out and escape and didn’t disturb the flower pots, so he reset the trap and cut up an apple to entice the groundhog into the trap.
Another week went by – nothing. I figured “Elvis has left the building” as the saying goes, or who knows … maybe he left before we even started on this costly and ridiculous venture?
A groundhog and an opossum walked into a …
… bar, er … yard.
Obviously the groundhog, if it was still lurking about, was savvy and, though a glutton for goodies, was not about to tread into the trap, so he/she kept on waddling.
But the morning of October 12th, I rounded the corner to check the trap before going on my walk. A big furry bum was all I saw. I knew it wasn’t a groundhog, but another *&^% opossum! I watched its measured breathing – it was dead to the world.
I took a picture of Sleeping Beauty …
… then left on my walk. It was a gorgeous morning, so I would call Chad when I returned from walking.
Ninety minutes later I checked on the critter, which I nicknamed “Ollie” and it was still sleeping. I took another picture…
… then I woke it up. It was still sleepy and did not bare its teeth at me, despite the fact that I was looming large but I spoke softly.
Ollie looked at me, a tad bleary-eyed, a woeful expression on its white furry face.
I told Ollie that I’d call Chad as you see/hear by clicking here.
But I got Chad’s voicemail and I reported that to Ollie (click here).
Neither of us were happy. Ollie went back to sleep and I went into the house and wrote another check for $75.00 for Chad’s arrival.
Chad picked up Ollie later that day and said he’d feed him before he was released into the woods. We decided together it was time to close up the hole/burrow. The groundhog had likely moved on.
The photo in the header image is from this groundhog encounter I had at Elizabeth Park on the Boardwalk back in 2020.
After crunching the numbers, this groundhog fiasco cost me almost $400.00.
I am not amused and all I got out of the ordeal was this post and a chance to participate in Terri Webster Schrandt’s “Sunday Stills Photo Challenge: PHOTOS FROM THE FUNNY PAGES”.




































































































